Today while I was barbequeing steaks for supper, a memory of something hit me. Something I don’t like talking about, but I truly believe God reminded me of it for a reason. So, without further ado, here we go.
When I was in grade 4, I started to notice that I was different than all my friends. They were starting to wear cuter clothes and I was still dressing like I was, well, in grade 2-I used to wear a lot of floral print pants and shirts that absolutely did not match!! Lol. Trust me, you’d have to see it to believe it!
Anyways, they started acting different- or at least that was my perception. One day while we were getting ready for gym, I took a look at myself in the mirror after everyone was gone, and decided then and there that I was “fat”. That identity that I took on at that moment led me down a road of self-hate that I carried right up to tenth grade.
You may wonder why I’m saying this. Well, kids are going back to school and people say stuff to others- or our perception of something–whether it be true or not–leads us to take on an identity that can be harmful and lead to nothing but destruction.
When I, in that moment, took on that identity of being “fat”, I walked down a road that made me start hating how I looked. It started me down a road that led to emotional eating-which just made me feel worse- then I got to sixth grade where I was called a “fat horse” and then junior high, where life is totally wack-for everyone, although I was the only one that seemed to be struggling-and that made it even worse. I feel isolated and alone. And, again, that just made me feel worse.
It wasn’t until I started homeschooling in grade 10, that I started realizing what my true identity is. My identity in Christ.
Isaiah 55:8-9 says ‘”for my thoughts are not your thoughts and neither are your ways my ways.” Declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth; so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”‘
This reminded me that my thoughts about me aren’t his thoughs about me. That these thoughts were of the devil. Unfortunately in fourth grade, that’s not usually your first go to answer or thought.
I guess what I’m trying to say is this. As you go back to school, people will say stuff to you. Don’t take it on as your identity. I’m of the belief that if you believe something long enough about yourself, you’ll eventually become it. Don’t let others thoughts or your human perception build or dictate to you what your identity is. You are a child of the one true king. Nothing anybody says or does can change that.
So, live in that identity. The identity that you are a beautiful, child of God. You are loved beyond measure. Loved so much that God sent his one and only son to come and die so that you could live with the identity of being a forgiven, loved child of THE King. (John 3:16). Remember this, and even though it may hurt, you know it’s not true!!
Love you my darlings!
Have an amazing year at school. And remember who you are and what your identity truly is.
Walk in Unfading Beauty!!