Lately, I’ve been noticing a lot of changes in me. More specifically, changes in my heart’s desires.
Recently, I had a very part-time, very temporary job as a cook/dishwasher at local diner. On my second last day, I had a thought that came out of nowhere, “I think I’m ready to be okay with the idea of being a house wife/stay-at-home mom if that’s what God calls me to,”
or me, this thought represents a big shift in the desires of my heart-as well as my thinking. For many, many years I’ve wanted nothing to do with staying at home full time-no matter whom it was for. I always equated it with being like a caged bird. That I wouldn’t get to go out and be free to have “me-time”. The thing is, as Christians, we are called to lives of surrender, sacrifice and selflessness-a life of servanthood.
Another thing that God has been changing my heart about is where I live. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to move-to leave the small town I’ve grown up in. Then. one day this last week, I woke up with one prayer in my heart, “Lord, I’ll go-or stay-wherever you want me to be,”
Lastly, one other area God has been transforming my heart’s desires is in the area o my future husband–whomever he may be. For the majority of my teenage-and now into my twenties-I’ve had a long list of “necessary qualifications” my future husband must meet. But recently, I realized that I was starting to think that many of these qualifications on my list seemed frivolous and unnecessary. In the end, I have realized that there are only 2 necessary qualifications that I desire:
- He must love Jesus above all else
- He loves Me (and our future children) in the way the Bible calls him to
“Delight Yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4
This is a verse that is referred to so often in Christian circles-and we even pray it over our lives-but then when God actually starts transforming and replacing our desires with his, we are at a loss as to what to do and how to handle it.
I don’t know about you, but when I realized all the shifts and changes in my heart’s desires, it scared me. Part of me felt like I was losing an integral part of myself. I’ve invested so much time and energy into these dreams. I mean, they’re my desires. My wishes. Things that I want. Then it hit me, my plans and dreams and wishes pale in comparison to what He wants for my life.
” “For my thoughts are not your thoughts and neither are your ways my ways.” Declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth; so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” ” Isaiah 55:8-9
So, how does one handle God changing the desires of your heart?
I think it comes down to two things: First is Faith and Trust. We need to trust that God is doing a good thing in us. that we are living life out according to what he is calling us to-even thought it may be something that we didn’t want at first. Second is spending time in his presence. Reading his word.
Change is an inevitable part of life, but, I think it can be even harder when the change is occuring in a place as sacred and deep as the heart. A place where we invest so much emotion and time.
When we want to live out our lives according to God’s will; when we ask for him to give us the desires of our heart, we better be prepared for him to do just that. And sometimes, that means being willing to let him transform our desires to things that we may not have desired before.
I recently read a story about a woman who didn’t want to have kids, but her husband did. She was afraid for a myriad of reasons, so, after much prayer and asking God to give her heart his desires rather than hers, she realized one day, that she was ready to try to have children.
Maybe you are fearful of the desires God might place in your hearts. And that’s okay. Fear causes us to lean less on ourselves and our own devices and more on Christ. It’s the living in fear rather than surrendering it and leaning on Jesus for strength that will cause heartache. Leaning on fear and holding it closely to our chest causes anxiety and stress. Leaning on Jesus in the midst of fear causes us to trust him more. And, the more we trust him, the more faith we have to let him transform us into the person he wants us to be.
I’ll leave you with this verse-of which is my prayer for all of you.
“I pray that your hearts will be flooded with light so that you can understand the confident hope he has given to those he called—his holy people who are his rich and glorious inheritance.” Ephesians 1:18