Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been feeling led to share a little bit of my testimony with you ladies.
When I was in Junior High School–ninth grade to be exact–there were some girls in my class that kept bringing nut products to school around me and spraying so much perfume at me.
Now, normally one would think that this is “no big deal”, except for the fact that I am extremely allergic to both these things to the point of having anaphylaxis.
For those of you who might be unfamiliar with anaphylaxis, here’s a passage from Wikipedia explaining what it actually is and what happens when it occurs.
“Anaphylaxis is a serious allergic reaction that is rapid in onset and may cause death. It typically causes more than one of the following: an itchy rash, throat or tongue swelling, shortness of breath, vomiting, lightheadedness, and low blood pressure. These symptoms typically come on over minutes to hours.”
So, halfway through all of this happening, I decided that I was going to “be like the rest of them” and quit “being a Christian”.
So, over the next couple days, I cussed like them and I tried my hardest to be like them as much as possible–which, in all honesty really wasn’t a possibility with the uncompromising Christian parents that I have…also, I was incredibly scared of being caught…
Anyways, on Sunday night, I had a dream that scared the tar out of me.
In it, I was coming home from a circus with my mom and we couldn’t turn all the way onto our road to get home. When I turned to my right, there was a big sign that said “Only Christians Can Go Home”.
Well, When I woke up, I knew what it meant, but I didn’t want to admit it. So, I went to school that day in a complete haze, with my anxiety shooting out of every pore of my body.
When I got to school, one of my life-long friends came up to me as said “Kristen, I don’t know why, but I felt like I needed to bring my prayer journal and show you this.”
When I went to read it, it was a prayer she had written exactly a year to the day before, and it said “Lord, I don’t know what’s going on with Kristen right now, but could you just show her how much you love her and how much you want her to follow you…”
Well, I lost it. I absolutely, completely lost it right there in the hallway in front of half of the student body.
So, with tears streaming down my face, my principal made me call my parents and have them come in to talk to–mainly because no one knew how to address what was going on with me.
So, my dad got to the school and I sat in his car missing class and telling him what happened. Then, later that day, he came back and we talked some more and he told me; “Kristen I’ve given some thought to this dream you had, and I think it was a representation that your mother’s car could turn towards the road to drive home represented your mother and I pointing you towards Christ, but, like the sign said, the only way you could get home–to Heaven–is by making the decision to follow Christ yourself. You know that you’ll have to answer for yourself. You can’t get to heaven riding on your mom’s or my coattails so-to-speak.”
So, I left his car, and in that moment as I walked to band class, I rededicated my heart to Jesus because I knew that I didn’t want to do life without him, because, even just over those few short days, trying to get through my days was like trying to trudge through quicksand; it was exhausting and useless.
There is a lot more to this story, but I wanted to share this part with you because I want all of you girls-whether you are in Junior High/Middle School, [Senior] High School or even College/University, yes, life can be hard as a Christian. You will experience persecution, but stick with Jesus.
Don’t let those around you bash you into the ground. It’s hard, it can be so hurtful and it can be so outracizing, but, I want you to know that in the end, there are people watching you who will realize that there is an extraordinary resilience and strength about you. Some may ask you what it is, this will open up the doors to share Jesus. And maybe, just maybe the person that is persecuting you, will one day come up to you and apologize-which is exactly what happened to me.
Four years later, right after I had graduated High School, I saw the girl who had been perpetuating all this bullying, and she came up to me and told me “You know, I wish I hadn’t done that to you. You were the only one who was nice to me just because that’s who you are, where everyone else just wanted something from me…”
Girls, people see. You may not realize it, but people see.
Keep your head up. #StraightenYourCrown and carry on.
Don’t let the hurts of today weaken your witness. Let it light a fire in your heart with the desire to show those around you the love of Jesus and the strength that he gives!
Trust me, I know that some days are so hard and you feel like your fighting against a current-and in a lot of ways, you are. Being A Christian in a society so bent against Christianity is so difficult. But keep your eyes focused on Heaven and on Jesus. He will be right beside you every step of the way.
I’ll leave you now, with one of my favorite poem’s that has spoken so much to me over the course of my life. I hope that it’ll serve as a reminder to you, that even when it may seem like Jesus isn’t there, he always, always is!
One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to me and one to my Lord.
After the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that at many times along the path of my life,
especially at the very lowest and saddest times,
there was only one set of footprints.
This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.
“Lord, you said once I decided to follow you,
You’d walk with me all the way.
But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”
He whispered, “My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
Never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
It was then that I carried you.”